As it turns out, there is a relationship between the way parents bring up their children and the leadership skills people develop by time they are adults. The bottom line seems to be that being over-protective of your children hurts their development of leadership skills.
You’ve probably noticed how some of your colleagues take to leadership roles like a duck to water. They’re confident telling others what to do, and happy taking on an ever-growing number of responsibilities. It couldn’t be more different for others: bossing around people feels awkward, and a nagging self-doubt shadows every decision.
If you’re in the latter group, you might wonder why the thought of being a leader fills you with dread, and why you find it so hard to even see yourself as a manager.
As with almost any aspect of human nature, some of the answer comes down to your genetically inherited disposition. If your parents were shrinking violets, the odds are increased that you will be too. But that’s far from the whole story. Increasingly, psychologists are realising the important part that early life experiences play. And key here is the way your parents behaved toward you.
In particular, if they were overly protective they might have undermined your chances of becoming a future leader. Colloquially, this parenting approach is known as ‘helicopter parenting’ in reference to the idea of hovering nearby whether needed or not.
Your parents likely had good intentions, such as ensuring you didn’t face uncomfortable challenges. Unfortunately this might have had some inadvertent, unhelpful effects, including “making you less confident and less capable of facing difficulties, therefore [leading you to] exhibit poorer leadership skills,” says Dr Judith Locke, a clinical psychologist in private practice and visiting fellow at Queensland University of Technology.
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